Purple Prose
or
Never Read Penny Arcade Before Blogging
I should take my own advice. It was innocent, I swear. I’d intended to write up a simple post about the work I was putting into the new layout on FanaticSpace. One detour to Penny Arcade later and you have prose so purple that it speeds past the visible spectrum and becomes ultra-violet.
Please don’t misunderstand, it was intentional. I’d decided to try my hand at the sort of ornamental rambling that is done so well on PA. Looking back I suppose that’s like saying “That thar Louis tha XIV furniture sore is purdy, I think I’ll make some. Hey, what’s a xiv?”, after which there is the unfortunate, yet inevitable, incident with a table saw. It takes practice to learn the skills required to craft something of that caliber.
It was fun though. Because of the joy I derived from trying to intentionally write something flowery enough to compare to the Tycho Brahe Botanical Word Garden, I’d like to ask you to try it too. The idea is easy enough. Take a simple post, one that could be done in about a paragraph, and try to stretch it out by using inordinately descriptive language. If you’re unsure of how to go about it, just read a few posts at Penny Arcade.
A lot of the blogs on the art of blogging, the meta-blogs, advise people to keep things simple. Short bits of text and easy to understand word choices. This is the opposite. Stretch your mind and your vocabulary and go crazy.
I’m sure you’ll have as much fun as I did.
If you decide to do this please leave a ping, a trackback or a comment here. I’d love to see the posts.
Personal Blogs Take A Backseat
It’s true, and you know it. I’m sure you can feel it deep in your bones. This is a Truth that can loosen both fillings and bowels with it’s powerful resonance. Only those so deeply entrenched in their blogs backend that they can never see the light of day again could even begin to form an argument against it.
Why do I confront the primitive human intellect with this statement? Could it be an attempt to shake the foundations of the Internet with an idea so jarring that even those poor souls imprisoned by LiveJournal may be forced to acknowledge that this is so? Alas, this is not the case at hand.
I’ve been busy. I’ve been toiling at tweakery.
Obviously I can’t spare even a moment to post in a personal blog when attempting to tame such a hell-beast. The powerful forces channeled and sculpted into multitudes of delicate crenellations which can strike down the unwary with their awe-inspiring beauty cannot be taken lightly. To do so would only hasten the inevitable arrival of oblivion’s sweet embrace.
As much as I have longed for that peaceful touch in the past, I must continue with my labors.
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